Ep. 144 - Microdosing Grief and The Practice of Saying Goodbye

In a spontaneous episode, Ethan discusses grief and loss while processing multiple events. At a recent compassion meditation retreat, colleague and friend René Fay gave a presentation where she discussed the need to “Microdose Grief,” to take it in little by little so that we can honor the small moments of loss to develop familiarity with the experience when the big waves come. Through remembering the life and the recent death of a dharma friend, Ethan explores a famous buddhist quote about impermanence (“The Cup Is Already Broken”) and explores how grief can be used as a tool for popping our hearts and minds outside of the confines of linear time, into the spontaneous presence and open-heartedness of what the Zen masters call “Being Time.”

This episode of The Road Home is dedicated to the memory of Ralph De La Rosa, who was a friend (and a guest on the podcast) who passed away suddenly on May 10, 2025. Ralph was a dharma teacher and trauma therapist, as well as the author of three books which each explored Internal Family Systems and Somatic Therapy in relation to Tantric Buddhist thought: Outshining Trauma, Don’t Tell Me To Relax, and Monkey is the Messenger. For resources for processing Ralph’s passing, you can follow the information posted in the youtube video, or reach out to Ralph’s assistant, Amanda Ludwig.

Show Notes:

Watch Ralph De La Rosa’s Poignant and Prophetic Last Dharma Talk Here.
(this talk was given the day before Ralph passed to a cohort of students who were completing a course with Ralph).

Note that—as Ralph says—the talk’s closing story about the death of the 16th Karmapa is not exactly confirmed as told, although David Nichtern did confirm that the Karmapa did indeed say his simple two-word riddle about death to students who were grieving the fact that the great Tibetan teacher was passing away.

Support The Road Home:

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Check out all the cool offerings at our podcast sponsor Dharma Moon, including the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training program beginning June 13th, 2025. Free video courses co-taught by Ethan and others, such as The Three Marks of Existence, are also available for download.